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How does mediation differ from litigation?
I believe an attorney can communicate more effectively than I can. So wouldn't litigation be better for me?
How can mediation work when the other side is being so difficult, or when we can not talk without arguing?
How do I know if mediation will work for me?
Would I have a better result if I let the Judge decide what is fair?
Is it true that mediation can help me to be a better parent?
Is it true that mediation regarding employment disputes can help me to be a better manager?
How do I know which mediator is right for me?
Q. How does mediation differ from litigation?
A. One of the biggest differences is the expense. When people resolve their case through the courts, the average legal fees can be between $20,000 - $70,000 for EACH party. When people successfully mediate their case, the average legal and mediation fees for BOTH parties are usually less than $6,000.
In litigation, attorneys and judges – not the parties involved – have control over the issues to be decided upon as well as the outcome. This loss of control leads to tension and conflict. Litigation is rarely about winning. Instead, it is usually about compromising and "giving in" rather than finding a solution that works for everyone. In mediation, our clients talk to each other – not through attorneys – so they are empowered to determine the issues that matter and gain greater control over the outcome. Most people are better able to meet their own needs than an attorney can. In mediation, the results are tailored to meet the individual needs of the clients involved.
The most important difference for parents is that parents who mediate have a stronger relationship with their children and with each other than those parents that let the court make decisions for them. Mediation helps parents develop businesslike boundaries around their parenting relationship so that the parenting relationship can work for the children’s sake.
Q. I believe an attorney can communicate more effectively than I can. So wouldn’t litigation be better for me?
A. No. Our clients that feel as though they are not as effective at advocating for themselves as the other side are amazed at how empowering mediation is. The needs of both parties, even those that feel weak, are met in mediation. A good mediator balances the communication between the parties so that everyone is heard.
Q. How can mediation work when the other side is being so difficult, or when we can not talk without arguing?
A. An experienced mediator is skilled at working with high conflict clients. There are frequently strong differences of opinion that need to be reconciled. Even when agreement seems impossible, conflicts are frequently resolved through mediation. The presence of a qualified neutral facilitator means the conversations are not like previous conversations.
Q. How do I know if mediation will work for me?
A. For mediation to be effective, the people involved have to be determined to resolve the matter. That is difficult to gauge beforehand. Some people believe they want to resolve the matter, but when the time comes they are not ready to make the difficult decisions. Others think they are not ready beforehand, yet mediation helps them to become resolved and to make the decisions they need to.
Mediation has so many benefits and is such a small fraction of the cost of litigation, it is worth trying a few sessions to see if you can reap all the benefits that mediation has to offer. Mediation is safe, so no one’s legal rights or interests will be compromised.
Q. Would I have a better result if I let the Judge decide what is fair?
A. When judges hear conflicting facts from each side, they are not sure what to believe. Some things can be proven, such as bank records, but other things like parenting issues can not be. Judges assume there must be some truth to what is being said, otherwise it would not be brought up, but they do realize people are biased in what they are saying. Therefore, judges frequently believe half of what you say, and half of what they hear the other side saying. Judges also apply a cookie-cutter approach, and use standard measures of dealing with your case, which may not be the best thing for your life. There is a potential that no one will get what they are hoping to achieve. Judges know this and encourage people to make their own decisions. Judges actually make the decisions in less than 10% of the cases. Mediation enables you to make the decisions much sooner, for less money, and with much less tension.
Q. Is it true that mediation can help me to be a better parent?
A. Yes, parents who reach agreement in mediation have a better relationship with their children and with each other than those who argue their case in court. In mediation parents focus on goals they both want for their children, such as the children being well-adjusted, doing well in school, and being happy and at peace. Businesslike boundaries are established between the parents which enable them to address their concerns about the children or each other, and to focus on the needs of their children so the children can achieve their goals in life.
Q. Is it true that mediation regarding employment disputes can help me to be a better manager?
A. Yes, managers who experience mediation have less complaints from their employees in the future. That is because mediation provides them with a greater insight into the needs of their employees.
Q. How do I know which mediator is right for me?
A. Talk to the mediator and find one you are comfortable with. Choosing the right mediator is critical for mediation to be successful. Consider the number of cases the mediator has mediated, as well as their experience. When legal documents have to be filed through the courts, it is a good idea to choose a mediator who has a thorough understanding of the law. You can also ask the mediator about their style. If attorneys are involved with the case, find out how the mediator will deal with the attorneys. Trust your instincts in finding a mediator you are comfortable with.
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